Author Archives: shewhoblogsnotwell

Let me explain a few things if you would not mind.I need direct communication. I have audio processing problems. For example, if you ask me if I would like to sit in the front or the back of the car – I may hear; move the car back and forth. Yeah, I know it isContinue reading “Hello, it’s nice to meet you.”

You once asked me what it meant to be owned by you. I was on the drugs of a new relationship and a new D/s relationship, so I could not even begin to answer you, let alone contemplate the answer.Fast forward four years, and I am not owned by you anymore. I am not sureContinue reading “What does it feel like be owned?”

I have spent entirely too much of my life waiting on men. Holding my breath, pausing me, waiting for one to magically breath me into existence.  It started when I was five and men said they’d show and then they disappeared into thin air. Vanishing me out of existence.  It started with me watching everyContinue reading “Waiting On Men”

My go to in relationships that are not going well is to cut and run. If I feel caged in, if the person doesn’t get me, if the person runs from conflict – I run. What I have not realized until recently is running is my form of putting up big old walls. The wallsContinue reading “Sick of my anxiety”

The deeper I get into kink the more I find I am forced to confront some of my feminist ideals or brain washing. I was raised by a rampant feminist that instructed me to believe a woman was independent above all and should never ever allow a man to control her in any shape orContinue reading “Squaring up what it means to be a feminist”

He  says I need to write and reflect. I don’t want to and I feel like crawling into a ball and hiding. i feel like nothing. I feel like an empty pot that someone is scarping the bottom of looking for more . This feels like a punishment of the worst sorts from everyone. IContinue reading “Empty Pot”

I had the tar beaten out of me yesterday and I feel like a better person. I am struggling with accepting this part of myself but the evidence is so clear at this point not accepting it and embracing it is like arguing about the color of the sky. Been unsure and contemplating what labelContinue reading “The sky is blue..”

I can’t unknown what I know I love you now change! – but I am just asking for flexibility I want your full heart and quick response to my txt msgs We talk and talk about nothing but we’re on the same board and page I want you to talk to me but I amContinue reading “i love you Now Change”

Like all men ever- my husband has had a long held fantasy of a threesome. I was sexually inexperienced and unsure of the idea of it when we were first married. The thought of two men scared me a bit- What does one do with two penises? The idea of a woman confused me- IContinue reading “How Not to Open”